The “Not-So Confident” Bride

The “Not-So Confident” Bride

The Not So Confident Bride BF BlogWeddings are stressful. This seems like the blanket statement of weddings. However, if you are someone who is not a “small size”, it can be even more stressful. The thought of dieting, trying on dresses, getting photos taken, and having everyone look at you for an entire day can be the most horrifying thing if you are not comfortable in your own skin.

Speaking as someone who just went to try on dresses for her own wedding, I found it incredibly stressful, and my wedding is more than a year out. I am the “average” size in Canada, and I left my appointment feeling worse about myself than I had in a long time. The store had surprisingly little in the “average” size of the Canadian bride.

I also found myself struggling to like anything I tried on. I didn’t look like the pictures on Pinterest! Well, duh. Of course I didn’t! I’m not a size 0.  Now, I’m not here to shame anyone. 0 is a size, and 3X is a size. Both of which are beautiful, as is everything in between. However, you have this idea in your head, and if you are not the most confident person, if your idea does not match what you see, you can get pretty disappointed.

The first thing you have to do is remember why you are here. You are buying a dress. A wedding dress. Because someone has decided they love you so much they want to spend the rest of their life with you. Forever. You. Curves or non-curves and all.

Second, you have to believe that. That’s the hard part. But the thing is, if you significant other chose you, they are more than happy with the person you are, inside and out. So, while you may want to change for you, remember that the person you are spending this day with is going to love you and think you are beautiful no matter what.

Third, you need to set your goals. Maybe they will be just mental ones, like “say something nice to myself every morning”, or “don’t think about the calories I’ve eaten on Fridays”. Maybe it is physical, like “I will work out x number of days during the week,” or “I will try a new (fitness/art/cooking) class.” Depending on what your goals are (gain weight, lose weight, come out of your shell, being generally more self-positive), set appropriate goals towards that.

Finally, ask for help. Maybe from family, friends, your S.O., or even a counselor or therapist. Whoever is going to be the one to have your back and help you out of whatever funk you may have, that is you need to contact. Do it early, and be completely honest. Let them know that you really need your help. If you are stuck with the last step, they can even help you set your goals. And eventually, they will be the ones reinforcing step number two as well. (photo via Pinterest)