Choosing a Maid of Honour

Choosing a Maid of Honour

The title says it all. Standing next to the bride on her wedding day is an honoured position, perhaps even a coveted one. A bride may choose multiple bridesmaids, but traditionally the bridal party only has one maid of honour. Often her attire is slightly different to that of the bridesmaid’s, and her entrance into the church heralds that the bride is coming.

During the wedding ceremony, guests might notice quiet activity between the bride and her maid of honor. A straightening or repositioning of the bride’s train, balancing her own bouquet with that of the bride’s and, of course, the hand off of the ring. You can understand why in some cultures, “standing up” for the bride refers to the job of the maid of honor (or to the best man, in the groom’s case). “Standing up” is an appropriate description, since the main function of the maid of honor is to run interference for the bride; as her advocate, the maid of honor stands up for her in all instances.

A bride has the right to choose anyone she desires as maid of honour. Just remember, it’s the person that loves you deeply and to whom you’re most intimately acquainted who will effectively advocate for what you want. (That is, in most cases.) Different people have different gifts, so your most loved maid of honour might not have a personality type that leans toward confrontation.

Delegating and distributing responsibilities among the bridesmaids is totally acceptable, and is a win-win compromise for a bride wishing to place a favored loved one in the maid of honor position. A second option, that tends to be a bit controversial, is choosing the bride’s mother as maid of honor. Face it; moms are accustomed to having their children’s backs. However, it’s completely about what the bride wants, and this is exactly the mantra Mom must adopt. She’s a good choice for the role, but only if she’s able to give herself completely over to the bride’s wishes. She must remember that it’s her daughter’s wedding and not her own.

It is a crucial role that the maid of honour plays. She is the appointed go-to individual who understands “the devil is in the details.” Additionally, the ideal maid of honour is a stranger to drama and isn’t the type of person who will create more work for the bride.

Choose wisely.