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Here are some tips of what a marriage might entail. With some sound suggestions and some spiritual preparation, couples reading this planner should be ready for what is to come in the next 12 months of their relationship.
- Don’t try to change each other. The wedding day is one of the most important days of your life and you would not want to ruin it by remembering how you became Bridezilla and how you made your groom think twice and get cold feet because of your actions. Remember why and how you fell in love with each other.
- I often times forget this, but it is SO important: He/She cannot read your mind. If you want or expect something to be done, just simply ask.
- Communication. Do not hint, because that really doesn’t mean you said it and it just causes greater confusion. Overall, be vocal and communicate your feelings and talk things out. Communication sets the tone of how you will be towards each other, not only for the wedding, but for the rest of your lives.
- Never say negative things about your fiancé (e) in front of other people, or publicly make fun of your fiancé (e). It’s hurtful and dishonouring. Keep the teasing private. Stress heightens the tension and you never know if your words hurt much more than you had intended.
- Absence makes the heart grow -less- fond. Don’t be away from each other too much. The engagement period is an extremely important phase and if you don’t work together through all the big and small issues, you will find it more stressful in the end. You will attach to the people you’re around more. You need to invest into the relationship, if you want it to last till the end.
- To best prepare for marriage, it’s important to seek some kind of pre-marriage advice. A pre-marriage retreat is a fantastic way for a couple to spend time together and learn about each other. Under the guidance of a nature retreat or crazy sport experience, engaged couples can explore their respective partner’s views in all aspects of life.
- Don’t forget to have fun with each other. The stress can get to your head and cause a lot of tension to build up. Simple remember to lighten up, smear some whip cream on his face when picking out the wedding cake, or buy her a nice bouquet of flowers after picking out the arrangements and who knows, perhaps he/she might just fall even harder for you than before!
- Set priorities. If there’s something more fatal than procrastination when it comes to wedding planning, it would be not knowing when to get things done. Make sure both of you sit down and set timelines for each other, expectations of whose doing what & when it will be done, the rest will just fall into place. Leaving an open ended gap for –œone of you– to take initiative is usually a great way to start a big fight. Try and get rid of that.
- Think of the engagement phase as the first date. You want to impress them. You don’t want to be late. You want to do the right things and say the right words. You want to learn more about them. You want to have fun with each other. You don’t want to give yourself away and show all sides of you just yet. And most importantly, you want to see them again. The first date recipe to a lifetime marriage. Ta da!
- Remember what’s most important. Weddings are never just about the two of you, the honeymoon is! That being said, take into consideration that you will need to learn how to work and cooperate with family members, the annoying cousins, or his/her ignorant best friend. For what it’s worth, at least you can look back and say that you had made the best of –œthose– moments in your life with him/her.
Last but not least, some topics that might be of concern and are usually discussed during marriage preparation are usually in regards to: personality differences, sexual expectations, and most of all, money. Finances have made and broken families and life time partners, all because there was no established mutual agreement to begin with. That or setting unrealistic standards for each other, resulting in constant disappointment and distrust. Make sure to seek professional advice or personal expertise early on in the engagement to prevent these issues to become of severity in your relationship.
Overall, engaged couples are just like any other relationships. It takes time and commitment to nurture something fruitful and to keep each other wanting more to be in the presence of each other.