A love relationship demands great ‘maintenance’ from both partners. It is not that effort is required only to improve a relationship. Effort is necessary even to maintain the relationship in status quo!
The common understanding is that love changes after the dating period and affection is on a decline. Why does it happen this way? The answer is actually very simple. The love and affection seem to be on a decline because the efforts put in are on a decline. In the dating phase, both partners go out of their way to keep the other happy and smiling and the efforts usually pay off. The promise of such happiness draws them both into solemn marital vows. Marriage is more often than not, the objective of the dating game and once it is achieved, there seem to be other objectives that occupy the partners and the relationship is left to languish.
And when this is brought to their notice, the excuses are almost clichéd. One does not have time for the relationship and one wonders as to what is the necessity of ‘maintenance’ when the partner already knows of his/her love. But this logic does not work. When one needs to keep aside regular time and energy for earning one’s daily bread, one needs to do the same to earn food for the soul – love – also. What finally matters is not how big a place you own in the bowels of earth but how big a place you have in the hearts of people.
Once the basic physical necessities are met, fulfillment comes for a person only emotionally and spiritually. When one works so much for physical and material comfort, how much more should one work for mental, emotional and spiritual fulfillment? And this kind of emotional and spiritual fulfillment arises only out of love. All things material come and go one day; it is only love that has the capacity to come and grow! Love is what makes the world go round. It is the most essential in your world too – whatever or wherever it may be.
And so, if one is really interested in investing for the future, one must invest in love and nurture a relationship. Here are some tips that will help.
1. Pay attention to what your partner likes. Learn his/her deepest desires and aspirations. See how each one can help the other in achieving the same.
2. If you cannot agree on everything, agree to disagree! Since the opinions and feelings can vary, the journey may get a bit longer with detours. That should not deter you for you will have company of your beloved in your journey and will never have to walk in life alone.
3. Learn to love unconditionally. Basically this means your love should be free from expectation. Do not do anything for your beloved with the aim of receiving the same. The very act should be its fruit!
4. Spend quality time with your partner. This means that you give yourself completely to him/her during that time. Keep aside work, worries, career and friends for that time. This shows that you value him/her.
5. Your partner may have some traits that you dislike or positively hate. Let not this dislike for the traits become a dislike for the partner. Learn to objectively separate the traits from the person.
6. Take decisions together. Show that you value the relationship. It is as important as actually valuing the relationship!
7. Do not think that since everything is known, you need not be expressive. Show your passion and love for your
Like a plant that needs watering and care, sapling of love too needs attention and effort. Of course, once it grows, the effort needed will be less but still even the mightiest of trees need water, soil and protection. Let the seed of love grow into a mighty relationship tree. The fruits will only bring you more love!
Author: Rebecca Jones