Be Prepared to Win When Life Challenges Your Love
Covid and Love squared off in 2020 and loving couples cancelled or postponed their much anticipated weddings. It looked as if Covid won that first round. No wait, love came off the ropes for the knockout, as so many couples got creative and turned to outdoor, online and HEPA-filtered worship places with open doors and windows thrown in to be extra safe!
Turns out Covid can’t stop love after all. However my darlings you alone can stop love in its tracks if you aren’t prepared for the twists and turns life will throw at you. Covid was just a test. Here’s what you need to know.
First you will face challenges. Either you will meet them or you will fail. It’s not unfair, it’s what life is for; to help grow and develop our capacity to meet the unexpected, the difficult and the twists and turns of life. I know because during Covid, more couples than ever have been joining our Modern Love Trainings to support them and get them back on track during these challenging times. You need the proper skills or its game over for you and your love.
Here you go:
#1 Practice communicating fully every day.
It sounds like this:
“Today I felt happy, just OK, lonely, tired, sad, horny”, all feelings are fair game
Listener responds, “I love it when you share everything you are feeling with me, it helps me feel closer to you.” By the way, that’s the key to intimacy
#2 Get over yourself quickly.
Maybe you feel annoyed, irritated or flat out angry. Go sit with it, figure out what you are really upset about; it’s never what you really think. Then go back to your partner and make a request. For example, “I’m actually hurt that you weren’t here when I came home, it reminded me of coming home alone when I was a child. What I want is to be close to you, let’s hug it out”.
Remember, forgiveness is the key to happiness. Let go of negativity as fast as you can after sharing what you feel and need.
#4 Develop yourself.
The more you develop as a person, your skills, interests and yes your sexual skills too, the more interesting and magnetic you become to your mate. Who is that mysterious woman?
#5 Keep learning and growing together.
Research shows, the number one thing couples can do to keep marriages strong is to keep learning together, whether it is cooking, dancing, travelling, reading or even shopping for new lingerie and undies together. Be sure to include refreshing your relationship every year with couples retreats and modern love training and education. Couples that learn and grow together have the strongest, most satisfying relationships over a lifetime.
Follow these steps and your love is fortified to weather any storms that come your way. Happy Sailing!
About the Author
Dr. Brenda Wade Psychologist, Relationship, Diversity & Inclusion Expert
Noted psychologist and expert for the Dr. Oz show and numerous national TV programs.
Dr. Brenda Wade is a sought after TV expert, speaker, author of four books and numerous e- books. An internationally recognized leader in the Human Relations field, specializing in modern relationships, diversity and inclusion remediation and training, Dr. Brenda delivers intersectional presentations that transform embedded patterns of racism, sexism and homophobia. Her expertise has been utilized by entertainment, sports, government, Colleges and Universities, private and nonprofit entities. She writes as the “love ambassador” for Online For Love, PR and created the science based Modern Relationships Training Programs, her motto is “Learn Better Love Better!”
She has hosted four national television programs as well as the longest running San Francisco Bay Area KRON 4 TV program; Black Renaissance.
Currently Dr. Wade serves as the chapter chair of the Zenith level, Women Presidents Organization (WPO), Silicon Valley Founders Organization, Allies Creating Equity (ACEs), the Lorraine Hansberry Theater Board and Teneral Cellars Board; an all women owned and operated winery with a social justice mission.
Past community service includes among others, chair of the San Francisco Human Rights Commission and Rafiki Community Health Coalition board.
Dr. Wade received her doctorate from the University of Washington, Seattle.