You have to write your own wedding vows and you’re stuck on the first word? Unsure how to put down all the emotions you feel? It can be overwhelming but when you get it right, you can tell your significant other your deepest feelings and commitment in front of your friends and families. Here’s a guide for how to get started writing your own wedding vows if you feel stuck.
1. Start with the basics
You can’t have wedding vows without saying “I love you.” Don’t focus too hard on flowery language and promises and leave out the most important thing – love. You should also take that opportunity to mention how you’ll be there for them through good times and bad. The majority of wedding vows, traditional and personal, focus on how you’ll support each other through all the ups and downs of your lives and marriage.
2. Add personal stories.
Everyone there, from your friends and family to your partner, would love to hear some personal stories and funny moments that happened. Don’t be afraid to bring up some low moments just like the highs. Everyone wants to hear vows that are genuine and real, so express how you feel about the bumpy patches you’ve been through.
3. Make promises.
Don’t forget that vows are more than sweet anecdotes and expressions of love. Sally O’Toole, a wedding writer at Essayroo and Writing Services, explains that “at their core, they are promises and commitments that you are making to your significant other in front of a lot of witnesses. Your promises don’t have to be heavy or deep, though, you can feel free to add some humorous promises too.”
Tips about the writing process
When it’s time to actually write down the words, keep these tips in mind. Don’t wait till the last minute. Write them at least a few weeks before the wedding date because as it draws closer you’ll get more and more nervous. Start by writing down your thoughts in no particular order. Don’t worry about putting them into full sentences but make sure you take note of everything you want to bring up: what you love most about them, what you’re looking forward to as a married couple, and what promises you want to make.
Don’t try to put everything in – it’s impossible. Stick to what matters most and what resonate the most with you. Take a bit of time and space then come back to them and see how you feel about the words you wrote down. Don’t worry about being cheesy as long as what you’re saying comes from the heart. If you struggle finding the right words or putting them into complete sentences, consider using a service like Revieweal or Academized.
Find inspiration in books that you like, movies, or songs. Use those favorite quotes as a starting point. Keep your sentences straight and to the point so you’re not too complex and tripping over yourself during the vows.
You also want to get some practice in private reading your vows out loud. Make sure it sounds perfect because if you read it out loud, you’ll notice spots where you missed a word or the sentence doesn’t make sense. Felicia Goodman, a bridal blogger at UKWritings and Assignment Help, shares that you should “be sure to indicate on your vows where you want to pause and what you want to put emphasis on. The last thing you want to do is rush through so no one understand. Take it slow and focus on your intonation.”
Before the big day, ask one of your close friends to listen and give you feedback. They can be constructive and help you improve your vows so you get what you want to across. More importantly, they need to be able to keep a secret so your vows remain yours until you share them to your partner.
Finally, when you have your final version, make a fresh copy of them for the ceremony. Your scribbles and annotation will be hard to follow, especially if you’re tearing up, so you want a good, clearly legible copy.