The person kneeling before you is presenting a ring while anxiously holding their breath awaiting a life-changing response. As you take in the moment and allow yourself to be at one with your inner-self, it becomes clear that any response you give is going to change the trajectory of your life.
It’s a moment many people dream of. You say, “Yes!”
As the reality of your newfound future sets in, you begin to consider the ways in which your life is going to change. Ironically, I believe most brides-to-be overlook a fundamental question. When saying yes to a marriage of two souls, is there someone or something you are forgetting, or leaving behind?
As an image Therapist, after decades of supporting brides on this sacred path, I’ve witnessed a lot. We show up eager to choose and love another fully, through thick and thin. To have and to hold, as it were, to create a new life, together. As beautiful as this process is, there is a truth that many people who enter into a marriage lose a part of their individuality. Somehow humanity seems to be able to find the emotional agency to step into this long-term commitment with another for the sake of a shared future, but the idea of loving another often seems to be easier than loving oneself.
Commitment to self-love and acceptance before any other love, is the key to a healthy foundation – the most significant contribution one can bring to a relationship. So many remarkable people often neglect to say “yes” to themselves, before giving a “yes” away to someone else. This situation isn’t unique to a bride on her wedding day, rather, it is a shared human experience.
When we have the desire to learn who we are, what brings us joy, and what we need, we access self-trust. Self-trust builds confidence, which is fueled by our self-esteem. Self-esteem by definition is how we hold ourselves, which shows others how to treat us.
“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” -Paulo Coelho ( The Alchemist )
Often we are the last person to get to know the masterpiece we truly are. The one who has been there all along, perfectly imperfect and always in progress as life shows up one day at a time. Don’t abdicate your authenticity to your self-doubt.
I believe what really matters at the present moment is not our past or the obstacles to self-acceptance, but rather, the daily practice of self-commitment. Seek your greatness rather than your guilt; you can begin right now. The voice of acceptance is subtle, yet it’s melody will be familiar to your soul.
My invitation to all of us is simple: Keep saying “yes” to ourselves.
About the Author
Written by Liana Chaouli
Liana Chaouli
Liana Chaouli is the President and Founder of Image Therapists International, a globally recognized thought leader, S.T.Y.L.E. Sage educator, public speaker, and formally trained couture designer. Liana developed the process of Image Therapy, which provides transformation through the empowerment of language, action, and wardrobe to shift debilitating self-beliefs and renew confidence. She has spent four decades consulting CEOs, celebrities and political figures on matters of self-image. She believes everyone should feel like the most beautiful version of themselves. Her goal is to make the world a more harmonious and inclusive place, one person at a time.
Learn more at https://imagetherapists.com/